Embracing Change

Four months ago, we faced the challenge of an international move. I wasn't unhappy where we lived before. I loved our house, I loved the views and all things were in place so that our life moved along smoothly. We had favourite restaurants, classes we attended and local businesses we were loyal to because we liked the way they cut our hair or sold the products we like to buy.

So to give up a happy life was not particularly an easy thing to do. However, we are adventurous souls and the idea of exploring somewhere new was too tempting for us and so we chose to take on the challenge.

After arriving, we took on a property that was the best of a bad bunch available at the time. Then 2 days after moving in, the landladies (2 sisters) decided to increase the rent by an additional 25%! We had a contract but with being in an unfamiliar country and also finding out that the landladies lived one on top of the other in a building opposite the property, we felt we had no choice but to give in to their demands.

The property itself was in a concrete jungle. It had no views. The garden was an internal courtyard and not a bush could be seen in the street outside. My poor cats were devastated. Where would they roam?

Now, you're probably wondering how this negative background information could possibly empower you to embrace change. But I tell you all this so that you can have an understanding on where my mindset was heading. Our exciting adventure had turned into living in a concrete city with no good places to walk our dogs, nowhere for our cats to explore, no views and no idea about where to eat, where to buy things or who to trust.

I cried.

I needed to try to keep myself together, I had a young child who was looking up to me and who was also experiencing a whole world of change. But when she would head to bed at night and my husband returned from work, he would ask me how my day was and I would cry.

Now, I'm a fighter. I do not welcome bad luck. Bad things do not happen to me, they are merely challenges that need solutions. So, I kept myself and my little girl busy by signing us up for every type of class I could find and then gave myself a break by signing myself up for a weekly yoga class. We started to meet people and friendships began. And in the meantime, I searched and searched and searched every property I could find that might possibly make my family, myself and my furries all happy. And eventually we got there!

We have now moved into an amazing family home. I have my views back. My Pets are happy again. And we are learning our way around. Giving up wasn't an option. And accepting unhappiness wasn't an option either.

Change is daunting. But so too is the thought of a life that is exactly the same every-day, every-year. 

Our lives should always be moving forwards,

and never backwards.

If there was one thing in your life that you could change, what would it be? And what is it that you would need to do to implement that change? What solution can you come up with to fix this one particular challenge? 

I invite you to move your life forwards and embrace change.

Learning to Love Yourself

2017 for me is all about finding my zen. 

There have been a number of periods in my life where I have found heart warming happiness and relaxation but it has only ever lasted for a short period of time. Either my situation or circumstances have changed or one negative soul or another has witnessed my positive mood and set out to destroy it.

As the years have passed I have learnt not to let other people's actions or reactions have much of an impact on my well-being. But events are a different matter. Life can get stressful sometimes and it's easy to let one burden after another distract us from the goodness in life. We become fixated on our problems and lose sight of ourselves.

So it's important that we regularly check in with ourselves. We can often spend all of our time looking after others, running errands and working. But we forget to ask ourselves 'Am I okay?'. Or think 'What could I do today to improve myself?'.

I am guilty of frequently putting myself last. My child, my husband, the 2 dogs and the 4 cats will all get their breakfast before I do. I will make appointments for my child, or encourage my husband to go and do his hobbies but I will often make excuses for myself; "I'd love to go on that course but my family needs me" or "I could do with some time out, but it's not fair on my husband when he's been working all week".

Well HELLO 2017, that is all about to change! I am finding my zen and therefore the first step I must take is to Learn to Love myself which includes looking after myself. I invite you to join me!

I am just back from having spent a night away from my family staying at a 5 star hotel.  The hotel was only a 10 minute drive from my house but it did not matter. I felt like I was a million miles away from my everyday routine.

When I got to the hotel, I checked in and settled into my room before heading to the hotel Spa. Having booked myself in for a Full Body Stress Buster Massage, a beautiful and well made-up masseur was waiting to greet me. Yes please! After my massage I took full advantage of the spa facilities, enjoying a swim in the pool, a bit of bubble bonanza in the jacuzzi and some relaxation time in the sauna and steam rooms.

I then headed back to my room for an evening of me. I ran myself a bath and pampered myself with some organic products that I had purchased especially for the evening. I ordered room service, I danced around to music, I ran out onto the terrace in my pajamas to check out the view a few times even though it was pretty cold out there and I read my kindle and read some more. It was great and I felt great. I felt as though I was rediscovering the child within me.

In the morning, I woke up fresh after a good night's sleep in a king size bed that didn't have a hundred cats scattered over it or my husband snoozing next to me. I did some yoga, indulged in the amazing hotel buffet breakfast and then went back to the spa for a Reflexology Massage and a Facial. I then had a shower back in my room and got ready in my own time before meeting my family in the hotel reception.

Reflecting on my night away; I feel far more relaxed, I feel happier, I'm in a better mood around my loved ones and I can actually look in the mirror and like the person staring back at me. I look like I am glowing instead of falling apart. And I certainly feel like I love myself far more than before I left. But, in addition, I have also realised that this is only the beginning. I had thought that one night away would solve everything, however whilst my body and my muscles don't ache as much, they do still ache and whilst I feel relaxed, I could still feel much more relaxed. I need to go much deeper than this to find my zen.

Now, I realise that my trip was rather extravagant and not everyone will have circumstances than will allow them for such a big spend, but there are still plenty of things you can do to allow yourself time for yourself. It may be sending your family out and having a pamper session at home followed by a few circuits around the house twirling to your favorite rock band. Or you could arrange to stay with a friend or relative, a change is as good as a rest. Or even better, house sit for someone! Have them pay you to relax in their house! 

Or maybe you don't have to get away from anyone, maybe loneliness is what you need a break from. In which case, joining a group or workshop might give you the buzz that you desire to make yourself feel good. The solution for you really depends on your own personal situation and needs. Get creative and give yourself a break!

Whatever you decide to do, just make sure that you do, do something for yourself. We all deserve to feel at peace and we all deserve to be rewarded and feel loved. It has to start within ourselves. 

I would love to her about your experiences. Please feel free to comment or contact me on admin@deepyvocal.com

Time

Time is not my friend. Time hasn't been my friend for quite some time. Time was my friend when I was younger, when I moped around the house complaining "Mum, I'm bored!". But as the years have progressed, time is an element in my life which has become more and more restrictive. And it's the same story for most of us.

Time ages us. God, I hate time! I see my life passing me by and the wrinkles forming on my face. I notice each birthday another year being added on the clock and sometimes I feel like I am watching myself from the outside in, aging, losing time and see those around me growing older too. 

Time wasn't there for me in 2016 when I needed to grieve. Time decided that 'it was time' to just carry on. I needed to take care of my household, I needed to take care of my family. Then, just as I was pulling up my socks and getting on with life, I needed to find more time to deal with more grief.  And just as I was dealing with that, my husband landed a new job across the Mediterranean Sea and I had to find time to sell many of our things, pack up our remaining belongings and transport 6 animals and a small child to a new life in a new country.

Time causes stress. One of the biggest reasons people suffer from stress and anxiety is because they are fighting time. There just never seems to be enough of it! Tick tock, tick tock, STOP!

And yet, time is what makes our memories. Time is each and every moment of each and every day. When I reflect on my life, I think of the 'best times' as well as the 'worst times'. When you really take a step back and look at the big picture, all we really have is time. 

It is our choice how we spend our time. In 2017, my intention is to organise my time in order to make time. Time for me and time for you. The time has come to enjoy time. Join me and enjoy your life.

Happy 2017!