Taking a Giant Leap into Your Dreams

Back in 2004 I ended my first serious relationship. We had been together since we were 17 years old, just kids really and had wanted to grow up too quickly. We got engaged at 19 and then as we began the road into adulthood, the cracks in our relationship started to show and the differences between our desires became too visible. So 5 years on I decided to take my path alone. It was a very scary experience for me. This human being had become my family and life without him seemed daunting.

A co-worker at the time stepped in and offered me a book to read called 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers (Thank you Susan, you changed my life to the point of no return!). I willingly accepted. This book was my introduction to self-help and opened up a whole new world for me. I really did not know that I had so much power to change my own life.

In 2007, whilst on a date with an interesting young entreprener who was collecting properties in London, I was introduced to the world of Tony Robbins through the guy I was dating. After reading a couple of books written by Tony, I signed myself up to a 4 day event called UPW (Unleash the Power Within) hosted by Tony himself. I remember the ticket, which was in the cheap seat section by the way, costing me £400. This was for a full 4 days, attending 12-16 hours per day. I thought it was real value for money! 

However, when I shared the news with friends and colleagues of mine at the time, a number of people remarked "what are you wasting your money for?" or "these things are a scam!". Erm, excuse me? I felt gutted to hear such responses. I was single and living in London. No-one was queueing up to join me on holiday, so this was my treat to myself. Others in your life often don't want you to change, so they say things that are likely to hold you back. Does this sound familiar? They don't want what is best for you, but what is best for both themselves and their relationship with you. And most of the time they're not aware that instead of protectng your relationship with them, their lack of support is actually causing damage.

I got so much out of attending the UPW event. I lived through 4 days of high fiving strangers, dancing, singing, goal setting and stepping complety out of my comfort zone. Admittedly it felt a little cult like, but that didn't matter. In fact it was comforting. I was in a room with 12,000 others who just like me, were looking for growth and to make their lives better.

After attending that event I signed myself up to study a part-time psychology degree and 9 months later I left the country to live in the sun. I'm still living in the sun and I haven't looked back. And in 2013 after 7 years of part-time study whilst also holding down a full-time job, I completed my psychology degree.

After having started my degree, I often contemplated over what I would do with it, if anything. Why did I choose to study psychology in the first place? The assumption is often made that anyone wanting to study psychology must have a lot of issues to resolve. Now, I won't deny that relations with every family member isn't perfect and there are things that I wish hadn't happened or had happened differently. Neither will I deny that I did come across a few people through my studies that certainly did study psychology for this reason and may I add, probably for the better of the public! But, I didn't ever feel like this was my reason.

As I was approaching the end of my studies, I pondered some more as to what I would do next. Had I been sweating the books for the last 7 years for any particular reason? And eventually I had a 'lightbulb' moment. Of course, what I really wanted was to share with others the learning and growing I had achieved myself. So I decided I wanted to follow the path of Tony Robbins and practise NLP = Neuro-Linguistic-Programming.

I attended a 2 day event that introduced me to a number of courses available to me and a coaching model used by the academy. I left the event motivated and I was later called for a follow-up session to see what I had thought about the event and if I would like to register for one of the courses. My answer was... "not right now". Can you believe it? After all of this hard work, all of a sudden I wasn't interested. What had happened? 

Well, as I said, it was towards the end of my degree that I was looking into it. So I still had some work to do and the thought of starting another course at the same time was a bit much. So I will forgive myself there. So what I actually said was 'not right now, but probably later'. Time moved on, I found new excuses to replace my old one and it just didn't happen. I let other interests in my life take priority and had pushed my dream to one side.

Recently, 5 years on, I was thinking about it all over again and wondered why I never did sign up to one of those courses. Why hadn't I followed my dream? As I thought about it, I started to get motivated once more, but something didn't sit right. It dawned on me that all along I was focused on NLP but I wasn't sure this was really an area for me. That was Tony Robbin's thing, but was it really mine? He is a Guru of mine, but that doesn't mean I have to be just like him. I felt as though I was searching for a missing piece in my puzzle.

I thought to myself "why NLP? Surely you want to start with the basics!" And that was it! That was my next light bulb moment. I didn't want to be an NLP coach, I wanted to be a coach. NLP may be a great tool to have later, but right now, I just wanted to start with the basics. And the truth was that it was this uncertainty that had side tracked me for so long. So I browsed the courses once more and there it was; DIPLOMA IN PERSONAL PERFORMANCE. Ding! Yes, please!

I spoke to my husband that night and signed up for the course the next day. I took that Giant Leap into my Dreams!

Does this story bring anything to mind that you know you wanted to do, but have been ignoring? Is fear or uncertainty holding you back? If this rings true for you, question why you are not doing it. What REALLY is it that is stopping you from achieving this goal of yours? I'm sure you have many things that you would like to do. And so I will end this post with an exercise for you to follow so that you too can take that giant leap ito YOUR dreams.

Go get em'

Exercise:

1. Take a blank piece of paper and number 1-10.

2. Make a list of all of the things you would love to do, but haven't, yet. Start with the bigger things and follow with the smaller things. An example of a big thing might be BECOME A COACH, whilst a smaller thing might be GET A DOG or even smller might be PLANT A ROSE BUSH.

3. Now go through your list and prioritise the things you have listed. So the thing that you want to do the most is number 1 and the least important becomes number 10.

4. Now you can make a new list titled 'Goals' that puts the items in order. 

5. Take another look through your list and decide which item would be the easiest to achieve. This goal is going to be the first one that you work on. Because, to have the motivation to achieve your bigger goals, you need to experience how good achievement feels and carry that feeling through with you.

6. Write down step by step how you will achieve this easy goal and be specific as to when you will achieve it. Write down when you will achieve the first step and each step after with a target timescale for when you will have completed the goal.

7. Once you have completed your first goal, you can go back to your Goal's list, strike a line through the goal you have achieved and then go to the top of the list and start working on the goal that is most important to you, one step at a time.

Good Luck!

Eggs with Egg-free Mayonnaise

I was sitting at the breakfast table and as I looked down at my plate, it occurred to me how ludicrous the combination on my plate may seem. I was eating eggs, but had specifically chosen to shop for egg-free mayonnaise. The thought tickled me and I felt the need to share and educate on the paradoxical scenario.

My choice to become vegetarian manifested as a result of the growth in my awareness of animal suffering. Whilst I still have doubts about how healthy it might be to consume animal products like dairy and eggs, I do still consume them, however I now pay alot more attention to the products that I purchase and try to do so as ethically as possible. 

I chose to find a local organic farm that let their chicken's run around free range and I visit the farm regularly to stock up on eggs. As I have a child, it's also a great activity to take her along so she can see the animals and learn about life on a farm. The eggs cost just 25 cents each (€) so are very affordable and my family can rest with a clear conscious knowing that the money we pay for those eggs is being used to pay for the organic vegetables that are fed to the chickens who are running around in a natural environment and living a happy life. 

At some point the hens will stop laying eggs and at some point, they may be slaughtered. It doesn't happen to all egg laying chickens, it is a choice made by the farmer. But the important point is that the chickens are not suffering whilst they are here and they are living the life that a chicken was designed to live. 

Most supermarkets stock eggs that come from caged hens or barn hens. A caged hen will spend its whole life in a cage until it stops laying and then it is slaughtered. A barn hen is free from a cage but will likely never see sunshine and will suffer the same fate. And they are fed the cheapest grain available. These hens that live without light and eat bad food then get eaten and digested in the bodies of humans. Did someone mention cancer?

Organic and free-range eggs in supermarkets are usually too expensive to rationalise as being affordable. My advice is to cut out the supermarket giants and go straight to the farmer. It's a beautiful experience and a little less weight on your conscience goes a long way too.

So why then do I choose to buy egg-free mayonnaise? It's because I don't know anything about the eggs that are used in standard mayonnaise but I could almost guarantee that the eggs come from caged hens because caged hens are the cheapest way of keeping hens. With cages, the farmer can stack the caged hens in shelf by shelf all around his barn. And I choose not to support this lifestyle for the hens.

So, there you have it; Eggs with Egg-free Mayonnaise. It's a bizarre combination but an ethical one. Always be aware of the choices that you are making when buying products. We vote with our money and your vote counts!

Awakening the Heart

I recently attended a 3 day yoga retreat on the beautiful island of Gozo located in the Mediterranean Sea just south of Sicily. After an exhausting two years spent raising my daughter through her dramatic baby years and promising myself that I would find my Zen, it was time for me to take a few days out as a way to refocus my mind and allow myself the still time I had long craved.

I am a keen Yoga goer. I find it helps me hugely in so many ways. I find my yoga practice to be a place of peace. Everyday-life in most parts of the world involves noisy traffic, people rushing, children crying and there is always a job or task that needs doing. In yoga, it all just stops. The only things you need to think about is the workout you are doing, the rhythm of your breathing and tuning-in to the voice of the teacher. 

It also happens to be a great way to exercise. The poses involved work effortlessly to tone your body and for any sufferers of joint pain, the stretching in yoga can bring great relief. Yoga also works well as a stress reliever through the various breathing techniques. 

The focus of the retreat which I attended was to 'Awaken the Cosmic Heart'. I'll admit that when I signed myself up for the retreat I wasn't entirely sure what I was signing myself up for! I knew I loved yoga and knew I was in need of a break and some silence, so the thought of a yoga retreat seemed ideal. But what was this about awakening my cosmic heart? Did my heart need awakening?

Feeling ever so slightly sceptical, I arrived at the venue where I was to spend the next three days. It was a beautiful farmhouse, with outbuildings, stunning gardens, a swimming pool and sea and country views. I was already in heaven. I was introduced to a girl that I would be sharing a room with for the next two nights. Did I say a room? No, I mean a bed! Now for me, that really was the first step to awakening my heart because I hadn't shared a bed with another female since I was a teenager!

We started our first session shortly after my arrival and got in position on our mats. I instantly felt at peace. Yoga manages to magically calm you, motivate you and connect you with those around you all at once. We then took part in an activity where we had to draw, using shapes and symbols, how we saw our lives and how we saw ourselves fitting into those lives. We then shared the outcomes with the group.

I learnt from that activity that I was satisfied with my life and my accomplishments but that I felt that sometimes I didn't feel like I could be all of myself with the people in my life.

We later indulged in a vegan and gluten free feast and chanted the sounds of the 7 chakras 108 times. If you want to know why 108 times, do some homework on hindu religion and beliefs because I wouldn't want to explain it incorrectly here.

By morning I was feeling more alive and ready for my next yoga fix. After yoga we did some crazy dancing known as Ecstatic dance where we let go of our frustrations and anxieties by throwing our bodies into the music with our eyes closed and moving however our intuition told us to. For a full 60 minutes! This was followed by a sound healing session, giving us the opportunity to stand in a drum and get gonged into balance. I didn't really think much of it until someone in the group requested some feedback and based on the little I knew about that person already, the 'sound man' was incredibly accurate with his analysis.

After dinner we settled for an 'Inner Child Workshop'. Now this one got me! Again, I wasn't expecting too much, I was just happy participating in order to get my break and do some yoga. We were asked to visualise ourselves as a child when we were between the ages of 5 and 7 and show this child some love in whichever way we felt necessary. We could talk to the child if we wanted to. It sounded like a game of my imaginary friend to me but I went along with it. 

It disturbed me when the realisation came at how anxious I felt when visualising myself as a child. My inner child had nothing that she wanted to say. She looked up to me at the person I have become but also looked at me with a sad fearful look that communicated she wanted to be cuddled. I felt for that child because I knew the events she still had to live through and from the look on her face, she knew them too. I left the workshop feeling uncomfortable and in need of some inner healing.

The final day consisted of some more yoga, crazy dance and a couple more workshops, both of which struck me as being quite powerful. In one I had to thank my father and my mother individually for their roles in my life. My father has given me very little in life and he left this world when I was in my teens. He wasn't much of a role model and so to thank him felt like a difficult task and something he did not deserve. The task made me feel very emotional, but it also brought me the realisation that he has actually been doing his duty all along. He serves me better as a spirit guide than a human one and he makes my life easier by not being here to cause me problems and letting me live in peace. We were asked to pick an angel card from a pile after this task and my card read 'love is being sent to you from above by an angel that loves you very much and wants you to know you have nothing to worry about'. If I had been sitting on a chair, I would have fallen off of it!

The other workshop was an intense experience of dance, intentions and someone coming round and holding us closely and firmly whilst telling us how special and powerful we are and that we are loved. I felt pretty damn good and inspired after that particular experience.

So, did I come away with a heart that had been awoken? I cannot answer that question with a direct yes or no because so much more came out of the weekend despite my inital scepticism. I learnt a lot about myself. I learnt that I have spent many years of my life trying to make my outside world a success but that my inside world also needs some work. And to work with healing your inner self involves showing yourself love. If we cannot show ourselves love, we are not going to be too successful at giving it to others.

I learnt that my mother and father were and are perfect after all. Because they have and are fulfilling the roles that make me the person that I am and choose to be. They gave me life which is a bigger gift than any other person has ever given me. And for that I am truly grateful.

Finally I learnt that in 3 days, a farmhouse full of strangers can become a family and heartfelt friends. And if it's possible to love strangers in a matter of 3 days, there is so much more love to give to those people in our lives that we cherrish.

And I reaffirmed, that I love yoga.

Learning to Love Yourself

2017 for me is all about finding my zen. 

There have been a number of periods in my life where I have found heart warming happiness and relaxation but it has only ever lasted for a short period of time. Either my situation or circumstances have changed or one negative soul or another has witnessed my positive mood and set out to destroy it.

As the years have passed I have learnt not to let other people's actions or reactions have much of an impact on my well-being. But events are a different matter. Life can get stressful sometimes and it's easy to let one burden after another distract us from the goodness in life. We become fixated on our problems and lose sight of ourselves.

So it's important that we regularly check in with ourselves. We can often spend all of our time looking after others, running errands and working. But we forget to ask ourselves 'Am I okay?'. Or think 'What could I do today to improve myself?'.

I am guilty of frequently putting myself last. My child, my husband, the 2 dogs and the 4 cats will all get their breakfast before I do. I will make appointments for my child, or encourage my husband to go and do his hobbies but I will often make excuses for myself; "I'd love to go on that course but my family needs me" or "I could do with some time out, but it's not fair on my husband when he's been working all week".

Well HELLO 2017, that is all about to change! I am finding my zen and therefore the first step I must take is to Learn to Love myself which includes looking after myself. I invite you to join me!

I am just back from having spent a night away from my family staying at a 5 star hotel.  The hotel was only a 10 minute drive from my house but it did not matter. I felt like I was a million miles away from my everyday routine.

When I got to the hotel, I checked in and settled into my room before heading to the hotel Spa. Having booked myself in for a Full Body Stress Buster Massage, a beautiful and well made-up masseur was waiting to greet me. Yes please! After my massage I took full advantage of the spa facilities, enjoying a swim in the pool, a bit of bubble bonanza in the jacuzzi and some relaxation time in the sauna and steam rooms.

I then headed back to my room for an evening of me. I ran myself a bath and pampered myself with some organic products that I had purchased especially for the evening. I ordered room service, I danced around to music, I ran out onto the terrace in my pajamas to check out the view a few times even though it was pretty cold out there and I read my kindle and read some more. It was great and I felt great. I felt as though I was rediscovering the child within me.

In the morning, I woke up fresh after a good night's sleep in a king size bed that didn't have a hundred cats scattered over it or my husband snoozing next to me. I did some yoga, indulged in the amazing hotel buffet breakfast and then went back to the spa for a Reflexology Massage and a Facial. I then had a shower back in my room and got ready in my own time before meeting my family in the hotel reception.

Reflecting on my night away; I feel far more relaxed, I feel happier, I'm in a better mood around my loved ones and I can actually look in the mirror and like the person staring back at me. I look like I am glowing instead of falling apart. And I certainly feel like I love myself far more than before I left. But, in addition, I have also realised that this is only the beginning. I had thought that one night away would solve everything, however whilst my body and my muscles don't ache as much, they do still ache and whilst I feel relaxed, I could still feel much more relaxed. I need to go much deeper than this to find my zen.

Now, I realise that my trip was rather extravagant and not everyone will have circumstances than will allow them for such a big spend, but there are still plenty of things you can do to allow yourself time for yourself. It may be sending your family out and having a pamper session at home followed by a few circuits around the house twirling to your favorite rock band. Or you could arrange to stay with a friend or relative, a change is as good as a rest. Or even better, house sit for someone! Have them pay you to relax in their house! 

Or maybe you don't have to get away from anyone, maybe loneliness is what you need a break from. In which case, joining a group or workshop might give you the buzz that you desire to make yourself feel good. The solution for you really depends on your own personal situation and needs. Get creative and give yourself a break!

Whatever you decide to do, just make sure that you do, do something for yourself. We all deserve to feel at peace and we all deserve to be rewarded and feel loved. It has to start within ourselves. 

I would love to her about your experiences. Please feel free to comment or contact me on admin@deepyvocal.com

Silence in the Chaos

Life can get a bit too hectic sometimes. We don't see the hurricane coming, but then out of the nowhere we can be swept off of our feet. Your head starts to spin and you begin to feel like you are drowning in mental 'to do' lists. Your treasured assets that you have become so reliant on such as your car or blender or hoover decide to break down (often all at the same time!). A friend or relative might have said something that has upset you and it plays on repeat in your mind. One of your children might be going through a bad phase and keeps being naughty and testing your patience to it's limits. And then the dog gets sick and needs umpteen visits to the vets at god knows what expense.

You begin to crumble. Everything feels like it is going wrong. You've tried remaining optimistic. You've tried telling yourself "this I can deal with". But it seems that the list of problems just gets longer. Where is the light? You want to see some light. You feel miserable. You think to yourself "when is it all going to end".

Hang in there...

Life is life. We can reach for the stars, we can aim high, we can work on making our dreams a reality, but sometimes life just gets in the way. One negative event can spiral into more negative events and before we know it our brains have been taken over with negative thoughts. Negativity is like a contagious disease. Once it enters our mind and our lives, it spreads. When you are thinking negatively, negative situations are more easily attracted to you. Then, when you begin feeling angry about 'everything going wrong' it can be easy to project your anger onto those you interact with. You begin to complain and soon enough, everyone around you complaining too. The negativity disease is spreading like wildfire.

In order to regain control of the reins of your life, you need to break the negative cycle. And to do this, you are going to have to allocate yourself some time. Yes, TIME. Time is something many of us struggle to have enough of. So it's very easy to immediately think "yeah right, I don't have time to spare". But how much time do you spend trying to fix all of your problems? If you invest a little bit of time now, then you will save a lot of time later.

So, you have organised your schedule and given yourself a few slots of 30 mins - 1 hour. Now, what do you do with this time? You do...

...NOTHING

You find yourself a nice spot where you can sit and relax. If the weather is nice, go outside, sit by a tree or a lake or on the beach if there is one nearby. If the weather isn't so good or you're not able to go outside, then make up yourself a cosy corner with lots of cushions, maybe a blanket and put on some relaxing music. If you don't have any, you can find a big selection on you tube.

Sit or lay in silence. Let your thoughts flow. If you're outside, listen to the birds and any other noises of nature. Just take some time to let yourself relax and try to let go of your troubles, your anger and the bad vibes flowing through your body. If a negative thought comes into your mind, push it back out again and replace it with a thought that makes you smile. Once you are feeling more relaxed, have a go at stilling your mind by not thinking about anything at all for a moment and simply immerse yourself deeply into your relaxed state. What you are doing here, is giving yourself a mini holiday from your life. 

Once you return back to your daily activities and chores, just be aware of how much better you are feeling. Now, you are back in control!

Allow yourself to be happy, allow yourself to feel free, allow yourself some 'you' time and give yourself some silence from the chaos.

Overcome Your Anger and Give Me a High Five!

What makes you angry? And I mean really angry! Is it an ex that cheated on you? A sibling? A parent? A friend who you know isn't really a friend? The job that you didn't get because you were too nervous? Being blamed for something that WAS NOT your fault? An event or situation you had to go through alone? A game you lost unfairly? The hairdresser on your wedding day? What else?

Well here is a way to both overcome this anger and get super fit at the same time.  It will have you feeling free from your troubles and free from those extra pounds you've been carrying around.  You will breath better, sleep better and look great.

It's simple:

 Channel your Anger into Exercise

When you're running on the treadmill, think of all of the things that make you angry and use that anger to run a bit faster. When you're spinning on an exercise bike, picture the people that have betrayed you and spin them out of your life.  When you are lifting weights, as you take the strain, visualise pushing your angriest thought into space so that it can't trouble you anymore and let out a big scream as you lift that bar into the sky.

Not a member of a gym?  It doesn't matter!  Sign up!  Or if you can't afford to, go for a run, borrow a bike from a friend and start lifting tins from your kitchen cupboards.  Even get some tape and tape a few tins together.  There are no excuses not to participate.  If you want to be free from the angry monster that lives inside of you, then you must take action.

Exercise done. Feeling better? Yeah! Tempted to punch the sky? Do it! Wanna go round giving everyone a high five? Back at ya!

But then what happens? A few days or a week pass by, the endorphins relax and the buzz wears off. You start thinking about the things that made you angry once more and they start to take over your mind. The feel good factor has worn off and you are angry again.

Now, I know you don't want to be back to feeling angry, so it's important that you are consistant with your actions. Try your best to exercise regularly, 3 times a week or every other day minimum to keep your demons at bay. If you need a few days every off every so often, fine, but don't make the mistake that many do by letting a few days off turn into giving up. 

Each time you exercise, remember to focus on your 'angry thoughts' and channel them into the work you are doing.  Keep thinking about those thoughts every time you work out until they no longer make you angry.  By then, you're going to be so fit and healthy that you won't need your anger to drive you. You will be both strong on the inside and strong on the outside. When you feel good about yourself, it's impossible for other people and situations to bring you down.

Now, stop procrastinating reading my blog, go get fit, overcome your anger and give me a HIGH FIVE!