Time

Time is not my friend. Time hasn't been my friend for quite some time. Time was my friend when I was younger, when I moped around the house complaining "Mum, I'm bored!". But as the years have progressed, time is an element in my life which has become more and more restrictive. And it's the same story for most of us.

Time ages us. God, I hate time! I see my life passing me by and the wrinkles forming on my face. I notice each birthday another year being added on the clock and sometimes I feel like I am watching myself from the outside in, aging, losing time and see those around me growing older too. 

Time wasn't there for me in 2016 when I needed to grieve. Time decided that 'it was time' to just carry on. I needed to take care of my household, I needed to take care of my family. Then, just as I was pulling up my socks and getting on with life, I needed to find more time to deal with more grief.  And just as I was dealing with that, my husband landed a new job across the Mediterranean Sea and I had to find time to sell many of our things, pack up our remaining belongings and transport 6 animals and a small child to a new life in a new country.

Time causes stress. One of the biggest reasons people suffer from stress and anxiety is because they are fighting time. There just never seems to be enough of it! Tick tock, tick tock, STOP!

And yet, time is what makes our memories. Time is each and every moment of each and every day. When I reflect on my life, I think of the 'best times' as well as the 'worst times'. When you really take a step back and look at the big picture, all we really have is time. 

It is our choice how we spend our time. In 2017, my intention is to organise my time in order to make time. Time for me and time for you. The time has come to enjoy time. Join me and enjoy your life.

Happy 2017!

Silence in the Chaos

Life can get a bit too hectic sometimes. We don't see the hurricane coming, but then out of the nowhere we can be swept off of our feet. Your head starts to spin and you begin to feel like you are drowning in mental 'to do' lists. Your treasured assets that you have become so reliant on such as your car or blender or hoover decide to break down (often all at the same time!). A friend or relative might have said something that has upset you and it plays on repeat in your mind. One of your children might be going through a bad phase and keeps being naughty and testing your patience to it's limits. And then the dog gets sick and needs umpteen visits to the vets at god knows what expense.

You begin to crumble. Everything feels like it is going wrong. You've tried remaining optimistic. You've tried telling yourself "this I can deal with". But it seems that the list of problems just gets longer. Where is the light? You want to see some light. You feel miserable. You think to yourself "when is it all going to end".

Hang in there...

Life is life. We can reach for the stars, we can aim high, we can work on making our dreams a reality, but sometimes life just gets in the way. One negative event can spiral into more negative events and before we know it our brains have been taken over with negative thoughts. Negativity is like a contagious disease. Once it enters our mind and our lives, it spreads. When you are thinking negatively, negative situations are more easily attracted to you. Then, when you begin feeling angry about 'everything going wrong' it can be easy to project your anger onto those you interact with. You begin to complain and soon enough, everyone around you complaining too. The negativity disease is spreading like wildfire.

In order to regain control of the reins of your life, you need to break the negative cycle. And to do this, you are going to have to allocate yourself some time. Yes, TIME. Time is something many of us struggle to have enough of. So it's very easy to immediately think "yeah right, I don't have time to spare". But how much time do you spend trying to fix all of your problems? If you invest a little bit of time now, then you will save a lot of time later.

So, you have organised your schedule and given yourself a few slots of 30 mins - 1 hour. Now, what do you do with this time? You do...

...NOTHING

You find yourself a nice spot where you can sit and relax. If the weather is nice, go outside, sit by a tree or a lake or on the beach if there is one nearby. If the weather isn't so good or you're not able to go outside, then make up yourself a cosy corner with lots of cushions, maybe a blanket and put on some relaxing music. If you don't have any, you can find a big selection on you tube.

Sit or lay in silence. Let your thoughts flow. If you're outside, listen to the birds and any other noises of nature. Just take some time to let yourself relax and try to let go of your troubles, your anger and the bad vibes flowing through your body. If a negative thought comes into your mind, push it back out again and replace it with a thought that makes you smile. Once you are feeling more relaxed, have a go at stilling your mind by not thinking about anything at all for a moment and simply immerse yourself deeply into your relaxed state. What you are doing here, is giving yourself a mini holiday from your life. 

Once you return back to your daily activities and chores, just be aware of how much better you are feeling. Now, you are back in control!

Allow yourself to be happy, allow yourself to feel free, allow yourself some 'you' time and give yourself some silence from the chaos.

Live Your Life with Meaning

This blog has been quiet for a while, and here's the reason why...

Saturday 4th June was a very sad day for me and my family. In the words that I used to explain it to my little girl, "Great Nanna got on the train to heaven today, so we won't be able to see her for a while".

My Nan, a Mother of 4 (1 of which was her only son and sadly he lost his life to illness when he was just 2 weeks old), a Grandmother to 7 and a Great-Grandmother to 6. She has co-created many lives and through giving the gift of life, she has left her mark on this earth.

When it's all over and we look back and reflect, what are the things that are really important? What are we here for? What makes our life worthwhile? I find these questions difficult to answer. In fact I don't think the answers are the same for everyone.

My Nan was not a career woman. So she did not waste her time on a career. She was not academic and did not enjoy reading. So studying a subject was not something she ever considered. She has holidayed in many places around the world, but was not necessarily a keen traveller and found the heat of the sun uncomfortable.

But there were many things that were important to her. Her family was what held top place on her priorities list. She made her family her life. She was always there to listen when any one of her children or grandchildren needed her. She liked to help out however she could. She wanted to make life easier for those she loved and she would do this just by being available when she was needed. And the thing I loved most about her was that she knew her own mind and would fight for what she believed in. She was not afraid to tell you if you had upset her and she would just as easily be prepared to fight your battle with you if she agreed with your cause and you needed her support.

She also loved to cook. I have enjoyed many of her delicious dinners. For her, the more mouths she was feeding, the more inspired she felt. A full table means a busy house full of her favourite people. She also loved to waltz and fox trot on the ballroom floor and enjoyed a cheeky gamble on the bingo. In her younger days she enjoyed hosting many parties for her friends and family. In her old age she spent a lot of her time living in her memories of those parties. And now I get to enjoy memories of her telling me stories about those parties.

My Nan did not live a life full of wild adventures and did not have a wall filled with her achievements. She lived a simple life. But she lived a life that was right for her. It was the smaller things in life that fulfilled her. She lived her life surrounding herself by the people that meant everything to her and through looking after those people, she made her life meaningful. Those people will always love and remember her for all of the things that she has done for them. She may no longer be here in a physical sense, but she will live on in our memories and be treasured in our hearts.

So ultimately, when we ask the question what is of most importance and matters in life? The answer is far more simple than we realise. Whatever is important to you, is what matters. There is pressure out there to be somebody, to make a difference and to leave your mark. But we are all somebody to someone, whether it be a mother (father), a sister (brother), a daughter (son) or a friend. The difference you make matters only to those you love. Take actions to make a difference to their life. The world does not need to hear of your successes. Only the people that matter to you. And as for leaving your mark. This one I cannot advise too much on. Whilst I think to reproduce is the natural thing for us to do, I also appreciate that we live in an age of choice and it's not for everyone. You need to consider what you want your legacy to be and this will be your mark.

On Friday 24th June we said our final farewell's to my dear Nan as she was laid to rest. Now we look to the sun in the hope that one day we will be greeted by her smiling face.

Live your life the way YOU want to live it. Do the things that are IMPORTANT to YOU. And live each and everyday of YOUR life with MEANING.